It's the day after Halloween. We didn't watch hardly any Halloween programming. The context of time continues to be an issue. I think S and I both feel it. It's been since Es was born - this blurring of time - slingshot propelled, but sometimes through dark, impenetrable water. Before March 2020 we suffered from missing, or compressed, seasons and holidays. We're still waiting for that recognition from us and extended through Es that some Time is afoot. BirthdayHalloweenChristmas should be Polaroid memories, but I feel we've struggled to surface those. Before the pandemic it was an observation. During the pandemic is feels like an indictment. I feel like I'm losing a part of my future self and only creating a thin layer for Es to build upon. November 1. The Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year cycle. I want to make it mean something. To have Polaroid memories. We're visting my mom today. Maybe it can start there.
A little journaling and a little wharever goes. Opinions are my own.